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Embracing Conflict: A Key to Personal Development

Writer's picture: Martyn EggingtonMartyn Eggington

Conflict: it's a term that often triggers discomfort and unease for many of us. 


Whether it's a disagreement with a loved one, a challenging conversation with a colleague, or simply encountering differing viewpoints, conflict can feel like an unwelcome intrusion into our lives. Nonetheless, as a life coach dedicated to empowering individuals to challenge negative beliefs, I'm here to convey that avoiding conflict at all costs may not be beneficial to long-term well-being.


Most of us aren't exactly enthusiastic about getting involved in conflict. While there are certainly individuals who thrive amidst heated debates, the majority of us prefer peace and harmony over discord. 


Yet, there exists a subset of people who go to great lengths to evade conflict entirely. They'll bend over backwards, sacrifice their own needs, and even suppress their own feelings just to maintain peace. 


But why is this? And more importantly, what can be done about it?


The fear of conflict often stems from deep-seated beliefs and experiences. Perhaps you grew up in an environment where conflict was met with hostility or punishment, leading you to associate it with negative consequences. 


Maybe you've had past experiences where conflicts escalated out of control, leaving you feeling vulnerable and exposed. 


Whatever the reason, it's important to recognise that avoiding conflict does not make it disappear. In fact, it often intensifies underlying issues, leading to resentment, frustration, and ultimately, a breakdown in relationships.


What can you do if you find yourself constantly dodging conflict? 


The first step is to acknowledge and challenge the beliefs that are driving this behaviour. 


Ask yourself:

  • What am I afraid of?

  • What do I believe will happen if I engage in conflict? 



By shining a light on these underlying fears and assumptions, you can begin to dismantle them and replace them with more empowering beliefs.


It's crucial to develop healthy communication skills.


Conflict doesn't have to go hand in hand with chaos and confrontation. 


By learning how to express your thoughts and feelings assertively and respectfully, you can navigate difficult conversations with confidence. 


Practice active listening, empathy, and compromise, and you'll find that conflict becomes less daunting and more manageable.


Embrace conflict as an opportunity for growth and learning. 

Instead of viewing it as a threat, see it as a chance to gain new perspectives, strengthen relationships, and assert your boundaries. Remember, conflict is not inherently negative; it's how we choose to respond to it that determines its outcome.




To conclude, avoiding conflict at all costs may provide temporary relief, but it ultimately hinders personal growth and stifles authentic connections. As a life coach, my mission is to empower individuals to challenge negative beliefs and embrace the full spectrum of human experience, including conflict. So the next time you find yourself tempted to flee from confrontation, remember that facing it head-on is the first step towards a more fulfilling and empowered life.

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